The Straight Path

To those of you who still in the middle of healing journey, I know that this path is not linear. There will be rebound, sometimes you feel okay, sometimes you feel broken. If the one causing the wound is an ex boyfriend or girlfriend, sometimes the thought of them soothe you, but other times it breaks you. 

But as a muslim, we ask Allah at least 17 times a day to keep us on the straight path.. so does it mean healing is not the path to Allah, because it is not linear?

Humans are all made of emotions, some are just good at hiding it, some are being the slave of it, and only a few can control it. 

Being in the healing journey which sometimes break your tears in the middle of work doesn't mean you are not in the path of Allah. The beauty of this religion lies within the heart. Intention sets the tone of our outcome.. if suddenly now you feel sad because you miss that toxic ex who told you his ex girlfriend cheated on him while he was the one causing it, then cry. You can cry but keep the strong thought in your heart that you are just releasing this emotion and NOT wanting him back. Convince your heart that Allah has a much much greater plan than you could ever imagine. Tell yourself that you dont know now, but with a beautiful patience you will know.

Sometimes when we miss the person who wronged us, it doesnt mean we actually miss them. It could be your unhealed trauma longing for the wounds because it feels familiar. Familiarity is what keeping people stay in an abusive household. And no one could be blamed for that, because not everybody had a privilege to learn about their inner self.

For me, sometimes I intentionally revisit hurtful memory just to check whether I have been healed or not. Everytime tears still coming down, I beg Allah to replace the wound one day with an abundance blessings. Everytime I still feel the bitterness of the pain whenever something reminds me of the wound, I thank Allah for keeping me on His path. Otherwise, I may be far gone into oblivion by now. 

If the pain brings you closer to Allah, you win.

Do not resent those who give you wound, but thank them. If they live happily after destroying your life, ask Allah for forgiveness and pray for them. Maybe due to your tears and sincere prayers Allah will give them hidayah which literally means gift. 

Holding on to anger just giving you harm more than them. Forgive, but do not forget. So if one day you both have to meet each other again on judgment day, you will have your hands clean because you carry no hatred and genuinely wishing them well.

Bogor, 20 Februari 2025

Thank you for today, I am happy :)